The Greatest Fan of Her Life
by darkrunner
Summary: Mai's alone. If Jounouchi looks hard enough, he'll find her - but it just might break them both. K for suicide themes. Three years post-series.
1. The Gallows of Heartache

A/N: Inspired by a song. Not a songfic. There's a difference.

_"I'll be your crying shoulder. I'll be your love suicide. I'll be better when I'm older. I'll be the greatest fan of your life."  
--_Edwin McCain, "I'll Be".

Coming up is one of the few OCs you'll ever see in my fics. Possibly the first I've posted on. Don't hate him because he's original; hate him because he's a jerk. Or hate him because he's original, I suppose, but at least he's not a Gary-Stu.

Disclaimer: Takahashi-senesi owns. I don't.

* * *

"Takeru, be reasonable," Mai sighed. He looked at her, disgusted.

"What?" he spat. "Why should I stay? No!" She made a move towards him, and he pulled back. "Mai, you can't keep doing this! I'm not going to just be the replacement for the the guy you really love--"

"What are you _talking_ about?" Mai demanded, shaking her head. "There's no one--" He held up a hand and kept talking.

"Yes there is, and you know it," Takeru said sternly. "Just because you haven't seen him in... what is now... 3 years? 4?"

"Who?" she shouted, annoyed.

"What's the first thing you told me about when I asked about dueling?" he shot backangrily. "Who's the only person you said anything about when we talked about Battle City? Who was the reason you didn't go to the Kaiba Corp Grand Prix?"

Mai blinked, starting to realize what he was getting at. "T-takeru, you don't really think that I..."

"And thing that really gets me," he kept talking over her, his voice rising. "Is that he doesn't even like you! I mean, 3 YEARS, Mai! What are you waiting for? He's not going to come riding in on a horse, wearing a suit of armor. He doesn't care anymore. You told me yourself, you tried to kill him!"

"You're leaving... over _him_?" she whispered increduously. "Because... I talk about him too much?"

"It's not the talking," Takeru said in a low voice. "The way you look when you think of him--you're in love with him, Mai. That's all there is to it." He shrugged her hand off of his shoulder. "Goodbye."

"N-no," she said disbelievingly. "You're not doing this. You wouldn't just leave me alone."

"I'm not sticking around if you're in love with another man!" Takeru shouted back.

"You know what I'm going through!" Mai cried, grabbing onto his arm. "You... you can't just LEAVE!"

"It's all in your head, Mai, just move on!" he spat, wrenching his arm free. Mai couldn't say anything at all now. Takeru stood up and looked at her pathetically.

"Have a good life dreaming about Jounouchi Katsuya," he said quietly, the anger in his voice suddenly vanishing. Mai looked up at him desperately, tears in her eyes. He met her gaze, and looked back not with anger this time, but pity. Mai reached out her hand to him, but he turned away and walked out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

A/N: Short chapter, I know, but I didn't have the heart to stick the second chapter in with it. It's too much its own chapter. I'll update fast, don't worry. As always, guesses as to what will happen are very fun to read! :D


	2. Tuned In, Turned On

A/N: So... I had a little fun with Jounouchi in this chapter. I wrote the end of it first, and when I came back to write the beginning, I was in the middle of watching Code Geass. So I wanted to indulge a bit. Forgive me. You'll get your polar next chapter. I'm having my fun.

Oh, I suppose I should warn about the slew of other OCs, as well. They've got like two lines each. They're not "LOOK I'M MARRYING THE MAIN CHARACTER OCs". They're look, "Jounouchi has a job!" OCs.

Japanese school graduates in April. Battle City started sometime after the gang advanced to the next grade, which would be May. I figure Doom was while they were on summer break, since they were away for so long. (Battle City was only three days, so it could have been a weekend or Golden Week)

Disclaimer: Still not mine.

* * *

"Please, sensei!"

"I told you to stop calling me that," Jounouchi growled, glancing over his shoulder at the boys following him down the street.

"But you're our teacher! What're we supposed to say?" the shorter of the two male students asked, circling around.

"I don't care, Tamaki, but something else. 'Sensei' makes me sound old."

"You're not old, sensei!" Tamaki intejected. Jounouchi narrowed his eyes, and the other student rolled his eyes.

"What Tamaki-kun means, Jounouchi-san," he said smoothly, slipping in between Jounouchi and the first-year. "Is that we repsect you, and wish to address you as our teacher."

"Shut it, Kaname," Jounouchi completely ignored the boy's sucking up. "You guys aren't old enough to be drinking."

"But sensei--!" Tamaki cut in again.

"Another word and you'll both fail deck-building!" Jounouchi threatened. Both boys froze, and he smirked. Too easy. Someone really ought to take this job away from him. They hung back as Jounouchi made his way to the bar where he was meeting his co-workers. Jou paused for a moment, feeling sorry for the two.

"Ask me again when you graduate!" Jonouchi finally turned to look at them. "You can wait a few months, can't you?"

Both perked up. "Yes, sensei!" Tamaki chirped.

"Don't call me that!" Jounouchi shook his fist as his students ran off.

"Oi, Jounouchi!" someone called from inside the bar. "Get in here!"

Three years after the magic and millennium items had stopped playing havoc with their lives, Jounouchi was a teacher at a specialized dueling school. His students had bypassed university to pursue a dueling career--anywhere from 18 to 20some year old men and women. He was barely older than the eldest of them. It was the most enjoyable job he could have imagined, and at times the most frustrating. He felt pity for his high school teachers now, with a few notable exceptions. Now that he had experience as a teacher, he knew he'd never forgive threatening a student with expulsion just to let of some steam.

Initially, he thought that he wanted to distance himself from Duel Monsters, but he went back soon enough. When he was the third-best duelist in the world, it wasn't something easily given up. That, and his position gave him unbelievable connections to the dueling world. It was much easier to ask questions about the whereabouts of a certain female duelist when he was a teacher than when he was a dueling celebrity.

No matter how many questions he asked or records he looked into, he STILL hadn't tracked her down, something he was painfully aware of exactly three years to the day after the last time he saw her. Mai was temporarily pushed to the back of his mind, though, while he relaxed with his co-workers.

Jounouchi sat at a round table between three other of his fellow teachers, two men and a woman, champions of Japanese dueling, though all older than him. They were helping themselves to drinks to enjoy--and mourn--the last of their summer vacation. Jounouchi had just finished telling them about Tamaki and Kaname.

"Those two!" Kaguya chuckled, tossing back her sake. "They'll never learn."

"Hey, watch it!" Urabe snapped, ducking her elbow when she put the cup down. "You've had too much to drink."

"Just cause you're not man enough to have anything stronger than beer--"

"You're drunk, woman!" he spat back, and the two started to argue heatedly.

"Speaking of two that'll never learn," Ogata whispered to Jounouchi. He laughed, not bother to hide it. Neither Kaguya or Urabe noticed, caught up in their arguement, though Ogata was sitting between them. "They really ought to just announce the engagement and get it over with!" Ogata continued, raising his voice.

"OGATA!" Kaguya roared, breaking off mid-sentence to yell at him.

"And another thing--HEY!" Urabe joined in, Ogata now cornered on both sides by his angry co-workers.

"But you two are so obvious!" Ogata protested, covering his head with his hands while Kaguya hit him. "Right, Jounouchi?"

"Erm..." Jounouchi hesitated. It was true, Kaguya and Urabe were both in self-denial, despite regularly arguing like an old married couple. Arguing like Jounouchi and another had done, and he presumed would never do again. His co-workers brought up uncomfortable memories of a --no, THE woman he'd rather forget.

"That means 'yes'", Ogata confirmed for the angry pair. They looked to Jounouchi, while Ogata continued, "Just get married already, or I'm going to have to return the engagement gift I bought!"

"Y-yeah," Jounouchi chuckled, reaching for his glass to save him from talking further. Ogata and Urabe kept talking while Kaguya rolled her eyes.

"What, not drinking!" Kaguya leaned in next to Jounouchi, deciding she'd had enough of the other two men arguing with each other.

"You know I never drink," Jounouchi replied after putting his empty glass down.

She snorted, reaching for her own cup. "You don't know what you're missing." Jounouchi said nothing as she downed another helping of sake. "So!" she continued as she slammed the cup down. "Who's the girl?"

"What?!" Jounouchi spluttered. Kaguya grinned.

"I knew it."

"There's nothing to know," Jounouchi protested. "You're just trying to get the focus off of your love life." He nodded to Urabe.

"Not you too!" she cried. "Ugh! Ogata! See what you've done?" She leaned across the table again, leaving Jounouchi to sit and try not to think about Mai.

Nearly on cue, someone sat down at the bar behind him and started a loud conversation. Not that he wasn't intrigued by the inner workings of co-worker relationships, but the strangers were more distracting. They started a boring conversation about local sports. Perfect. Best thing to take his mind off of romance.

Then one of them changed the subject. "How's things with Kujaku?"

Jounouchi forced himself to pay attention to his co-workers. It was a common enough name. It had nothing to do with him. Or her.

"...dumped her."

Kaguya said something, and Jounouchi replied. See? He wasn't paying attention to those other guys. Not one bit.

"...so then I said, 'Mai'..."

Jounouchi was instantly listening to the other man's conversation. His head was telling him to mind his own damn business, but his heart was telling his head to shut up. His friends continued talking around him, oblivious to him.

"She was cheatin' on you?"

"Nah. Just thinking..."

A waiter passed in between Jounouchi's table and the men at the bar. He strained to hear the rest. It came intermittantly, like a badly tuned radio. It briefly occured to him that this might be a sign to NOT listen to things that weren't his business. It also occured to him that he hadn't seen Mai in three years and had already gone through enough hell trying to find her that a bit of eavesdropping wouldn't hurt.

"...she wouldn't... totally obsessed..."

"...likes him that much?"

"...talked about him..."

"...why..."

"...dueled together..."

The waiter moved off, just in time for Jounouchi to catch the last bit.

"Duelist? What's his name?"

"Hey, Jounouchi?" His friends had noticed him staring at the backs of the two men at the bar, but Jounouchi didn't care. Three years he had spent trying to find her and the answer was in a bar in Domino? He was lucky he could still hear over his heart pounding.

"Jounouchi--"

Jou was out of his seat before the man could even get out his given name. He pulled the man's chair around.

"What the--!" he stopped suddenly, eyes wide. "Hey... you're..."

"What did she say about me?" Jounouchi asked desperately. His whole table, and the guy's friend were staring at him, but he didn't care. "What... where is she?"

"Told you there was a girl," Kaguya whispered to Urabe and Ogata, who chuckled softly.

Suddenly, the dormant television in the corner blasted to life. Jou, and half the occupants of the bar, looked up to see the bartender turning the volume up. An urgent news broadcast had interuppted the normal everyday garbage that the barkeep liked to show. A woman was standing on the edge of a building, too close to the edge to be anything but suicide.

"...standing on top of her apartment building, presumably to jump..."

The patrons of the bar murmured anxiously, and Kaguya gasped. Well, it was too bad, whoever it was, but there was nothing to be done about it. Jounouchi ignored it, and turned back to the idiot in front of him, to get information for something he still could do. Takeru, however, was still fixated on the grim broadcast.

"N-no way," he mumbled. "That... that's her building..."

Jou looked from the TV screen to a stunned Takeru. The fact that Mai HAD BEEN IN DOMINO THIS WHOLE DAMNED TIME was blinded by the fact that she was apparently about to _kill herself_. He grabbed the front of the idiot's shirt, and hoisted him out of his chair.

"What the hell did you do to her?!" Jounouchi shouted. Takeru looked terrified.

"It wasn't me, I swear," he stammered. "I just... I mean, I broke up with her, but... that's nothing to... to..."

"Apparently it was!" Jou yelled. Ogata called his name somewhat sternly; none of them had ever seen Jounouchi this angry before. Jounouchi ignored them all. It had been three YEARS, and this idiot had driven her to... THIS?!

"Hey, what was I supposed to do?" Takeru said defensively. "She was obviously in love with you, what, you expect me to just stick around?"

"Well you--wait, what?" Jounouchi said, backtracking. "Mai was what?"

"Well, she never said it, but it wasn't that hard to tell," he spat. "She wouldn't shut up about you. I sure as heck wasn't going to stick around while she waited for you to burst in the door--where the hell have you been? She thinks you hate her."

Jou stopped listening about halfway through and was contemplating punching Takeru in the face when the TV distracted him. He looked up it, at the shadowy figure on the top of the building, barely visible through the shaking camera.

"It might not be her," Takeru offered, following Jou's gaze. Jounouchi glared at him, and threw him back down in the chair.

"You idiot," he growled, and he sprinted out the door, towards the apartment building.

* * *

A/N: Gasp! Oh noes! Is Mai going to kill herself? You'll have to keep reading to find out! But while you wait, review, and guess what will happen!

_"...threatening a student with expulsion just to let of some steam" - _In volume 1 of the manga, there is a teacher, Ms. Chono, who honestly takes pleasure out of randomly searching her students and then expelling them. She found Honda's puzzle-declaration-of-love in Miho's desk and threatened to expel Honda, Jounouchi, and Yuugi. Then the other Yuugi turned the puzzle into a penalty game, and all her makeup fell off and she ran from the room screaming "I'll get you for this!". Seriously.


	3. Love's Suicide

A/N: Originally it was 3 chapters long, but this third chapter was twice as long as the other two PUT TOGETHER. So it's now 4 chapters.

Last chapter, Jounouchi, who has spent the past three years trying to track Mai down, discovered that she's been in Domino the whole time. It may be too late, though, someone is about to jump off the roof of an apartment building, identified as hers by her now-ex-boyfriend. Jounouchi to the rescue!

This fic has garnered my longest review ever. Wow. **I** don't even write reviews that long. Kudos to The Rainwalker.

* * *

Jounouchi was still sprinting when he reached the building. A small crowd of people--residents, Jounouchi guessed--gathered around. Jounouchi pushed through. Closer to the front was the lone news group, and a police car. An officer was standing nearby, radio in hand, calling for assistance. His back was turned. Jounouchi looked up at the roof, towards the shadowy figure. It was too dark for him to clearly tell. From out of nowhere, a light shone at the roof. Jounouchi turned to see the policeman shining his flashlight on the mysterious figure. She raised a hand, and Jou couldn't see her face, but his heart started pounding. He hadn't known her for this long, been through hell, thought about her every day for three years to not recognize her without looking at her face.

Then, the light lowered. The officer moved farther away from Jounouchi and turned his attention back to the radio. Jounouchi took his chance and dashed towards the door.

His hand was closing around the handle before anyone noticed. The policeman yelled for him to stop, but Jounouchi wasn't going to listen. He burst through the door and went up the closest staircase.

Jounouchi ran up the steps two at a time. _Please, let her still be there,_ he thought. He strained to hear over his pounding footsteps and heavy breathing. If something had happened, he would hear it, right? The crowd would surely react if she... he pushed that thought out of his mind, the image of her lying on the ground... _Oh god..._ he ran faster.

Turning a corner, he came to the door. Jounouchi wrenched open the handle and bounded out onto the rooftop.

"Mai!" he shouted, desperately scanning the roof for her. "Mai!!"

"Jounouchi?"

His heart leapt in his chest as he whirled around towards her voice. The panic that had been wrapped around his throat like a vise loosened and a smile broke out on his face. He was here now; she wouldn't jump.

After 3 long years, they were finally face to face again. Mai had her back to the street, wind whipping through her now short blond hair. Her face was tearstained, but just as beautiful as Jounouchi remembered it.

"Mai," he breathed in relief. "Thank god--"

"What're you doing here?" she asked in a small voice. Jounouchi's smile lessened a bit. What was going on? She shuffled closer to the edge of the building.

"I... I wanted to see you, Mai," he said, trying to keep the panic out of his voice. Stay calm. "I'm here now. It's okay."

"'Okay'?" Mai looked at him like he was crazy. "How did you find... No, no, it's not okay! What d'you think you're doing? You..." She trailed off, just staring at him in disbelief. Jounouchi had to keep from cringing. Even when she'd described the events that led up to Doom... he'd never imagined anything like this. What on earth had happened? His chest tightened again, not just with panic, but guilt. This happened before because he wasn't there. If she... the image of her lying on the ground came into his mind again. He pushed it aside. He would NOT let that happen.

He had expected her to keep talking, but she just let the sentence hang in the air. He edged forward, testing how much closer he could get without her noticing.

"But... I thought you wanted to see me," Jounouchi said, recalling his conversation with Takeru in the bar. "He said..."

"Who said?" she asked, leaning forward. Jou inched a few steps towards her. "Who have you been talking to?"

"N-nobody," Jounouchi stammered. The last thing he wanted to do was bring up her ex-boyfriend. Mai glared at him; Jounouchi flinched, giving it away.

"You--!" She spat. "You had no right to talk to him!"

"I didn't mean to--Mai, NO!" She turned her back to him and leaned over the edge. He started to sprint towards her, but Mai glanced over her shoulder and saw him coming.

"Stop!" she cried. Jounouchi froze. "I'm not kidding, here, Jounouchi!"

"Why?" Jounouchi asked, grapsing at straws. He had no idea what to do now. Stupid, arrogant idiot! He didn't have any plan past just showing up. He thought that would be enough. All she needed was to see him, right? That's all she wanted, was him.

Idiot! Just because she meant everything in the world to _him_... he had no idea what was going on in her life, besides that jerk in the bar.

"'Why', what?" she shouted back. "Why am I not kidding?"

"Why are you doing this?" he begged. "Why are you..." He looked away for a moment, unable to say 'kill yourself'. "Standing on the edge of your building when I'm asking you to come down!?" He looked at her again, pleading.

"What does it matter?" She asked, throwing her hands in the air.

"Mai..." he started, trying to think of what to say.

"Don't," she cut him off. "Just stop it. I haven't seen you in three YEARS, Jounouchi. You don't have the first clue what's going on with me, and you think everything's going to be okay because you showed up on my roof--ra only knows how you found me--"

"I don't have a clue because you're not telling me!" he shouted back, angry.  
"You don't need to know--"

"Yes, I do!" He cut her off this time. "I want to know what's going on, Mai. Please!" She shook her head, glancing down. Jounouchi knew he shouldn't keep pressing her, but he blurted out anyway. "You owe me that much!"

She was about to yell at him as well, but closed her mouth and thought a moment. Jounouchi held his breath.

"So I do," she sighed. Jounouchi breathed in relief as she stepped down from the ledge, if only for the moment.

"...what happened when you dueled Malik, Jounouchi?"

"I--huh?" he stammered, thrown off by the random question.

"After the duel," she said impaitiently. "What happened to you?"

With a horrible sinking feeling, Jounouchi realized that he never told Mai about his duel. He'd figured that out during her time with the Orichalcos, and meant to tell her, but in that last few seconds they'd had together, he didn't exactly have time.

"I don't really know..." he said. "I... uh... passed out at the end of the duel." Something told him this wasn't the time to tell her he had--however briefly--been legally dead after his duel with Malik.

"And...?"

"And I had a weird dream and I woke up," he finished lamely. "What does this have to do with anything? Whathisface said this was... well, it was about me!"

She looked at him strangely. Jounouchi started to panic. He'd been wrong. This wasn't about him, and now he had no way to stop her.

"That is what he would say," she said in a low voice.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jou shouted, confused.

"Takeru was a jealous, arrogant... aagh!" she yelled. "He didn't give a damn what happened to me when he left. You bastard!" she shouted over the side of the building. "How could you just LEAVE me?! You knew what was I was going through!" She whirled around to Jou, her eyes shining with new tears, her voice breaking. "He knew, Jounouchi. He knew, and he just walked out!"

Their eyes met, and Jounouchi could see her reaching out to him through her despair. Jounouchi jumped at his new chance. "What are you going through, Mai?" he asked. She shivered and turned away again.

"Mai?"

"I still have nightmares," she blurted. "The ones... from my duel with Malik."

"What... is it that bad?" Jounouchi asked.

Mai paused, and answered with a question. "What are you afraid of, Jounouchi?"

"Me?" He stammered, thrown by her question. "Uh..." Bakura's occult deck came to mind. "Stupid stuff." He hesitated, not sure if his childish answer was what she wanted. She beckoned, and he blushed a bit.

"Ghosts. Zombies. Occult stuff," he mumbled. "Why? What about you?"

"Being alone."

Her answer cut into Jounouchi like something from Malik's duel. _Being alone._ Exactly what he did to her after Battle City. What he'd been doing to her for years. What her idiot boyfriend had done hours before.

Before Jounouchi could say anything, Mai continued. "Malik trapped me in an hourglass. Alone. Watching all the people I know ignore me, and then losing the memories of them even existing. And when they were all gone, and I couldn't take it anymore... I'd die."

"It's the same dream. I'm alone, in an hourglass, and it's filling with sand--" Jounouchi started. He hadn't heard about that part before. Mai didn't notice and continued "--and he tortures me, and I'm as alone as anyone could ever be."

The leftover pieces from their adventures three years ago started to click together. "That's why... you went to..." Jounouchi trailed off.

"To Doom. I know I shouldn't have. But... Varon..." she sighed. "I didn't know what to do."

"Is that why you're here now?" He asked hesitantly. "You don't know what else to do?"

"No. Doom's over and done with," she said with resolve, but looked out at the edge of the building again. He tensed, ready to spring forward if she started to jump. "I'm sorry for what I did, but I don't..." she paused, and Jounouchi swore she chuckled. "I don't lose any sleep over it."

"I don't understand," Jounouchi tried to buy more time. "The Mai I knew wouldn't do this. Even with all that stuff."

"I'm not the 'Mai you knew'," she spat. "I was pathetic for joining Doom. I'd never do that again."

"And this is better than that?!" Jounouchi accused, starting to lose control. She gave him a long look.

"Yes," she replied, serious. Jounouchi faltered.

"I... don't blame you for that, though," he offered. "For the Orichalcos stuff. It wasn't your fault. No one blames you."

She snorted. "Of course they do."

"No!" he protested, but she cut him off.

"It doesn't matter, anyway," she shook her head. "Doom's over. Even if it wasn't, you'd say whatever you had to until I got down." Mai accused. Jou winced. She was exactly right. Sighing, she turned away from him.

"Honestly... this isn't about Doom or you, Jounouchi." She smiled sadly. "How could it be? You were always good to me. Maybe we'd ruffle each other's feathers, but you were there when it counted. When I didn't deserve it."

"Mai, that doesn't mean you have to--" Jounouchi tried to cut in. He knew it was pathetic, he knew it was sterotypical and probably didn't mean a thing to her, but he had to say _something_.

"No. I do. Don't worry, there's more for you than me, Jounouchi. There's got to be," she added in a whisper.

"Mai..." he pleaded. "Don't do this."

"...goodbye, Jounouchi," Mai murmured, stepping back on the ledge.

* * *

A/N: Did you think she was going to kill herself because of Doom? Did you think seeing Jou would snap her out of it? Did I manage to surprise you in any way? I'd love to know!


	4. He'll Be

A/N: Sorry to The RainWALKER. You're right, it was an accident. ^^;; I corrected it as soon as I saw the review. Which I would have told you, only you keep reviewing anonymously. It'd be nice if you'd sign in or leave an email address or something so I could properly reply to your reviews.

Last chapter! Ready?

* * *

She turned away from him, eyes closed.

"Mai!" Jounouchi cried. She stood motionless. He began to panic-- no, he had been panicking for the last half hour. He felt like everything that mattered to him in the world was about to disappear forever. In just a second, he could think of very little he'd have to live for himself. Would he follow her? His head was spinning. Inside, he cursed himself for his own uselessness. Maybe he deserved to go with her, if he couldn't stop her. Why couldn't he DO anything?

Jounouchi watched her, still standing on the ledge. He swore he saw her foot move and something in him snapped. Whether she had really been about to jump or not, neither of them could say. Maybe she would have stopped at the last second. Maybe she was stopping right now, that her minute-long pause was really indecision instead of her savoring one last moment of life. Jounouchi didn't take the time to think about any of that. He just acted.

"NO!" he bellowed, startling her. She glanced over her shoulder to see Jounouchi sprinting towards her, faster than he'd ever run in his life. He threw himself forward and wrapped his arms around her waist. She looked down at him, shocked.

"What're you doing?!" Mai cried. She struggled against him. He clung to her.

"I'm not..." Jounouchi grunted, grappling with her. She hit him as he tried to haul her back to the roof.

"...going to let you..." Now she started to pry his fingers loose. He pulled as much as he could without knocking them off balance and throwing them over the edge.

"...do this, Mai!" Jounouchi shouted. She kept fighting against him, and for a moment, she broke free. Jounouchi swore his heart stopped as he watched her slip away from him. He leapt onto the edge of the roof and grabbed her wrist. She was so far gone, though, that they both started to fall forward. With a loud yell, Jounouchi pulled her back towards him, wrapping his other arm behind her back, pressing her to him, while letting himself fall backwards. The sudden shift in weight had the desired effect. Mai fell on top of Jounouchi, both of them landing with a heavy thud on the roof.

"Now will you stop?!" Jounouchi gasped. The landing had knocked the wind out of him. Mai didn't respond at first, only tried to pull away from him. Jounouchi held her, literally, for dear life. If she hadn't been trying to kill herself he might've enjoyed being able to hold her. Memories of Jean-Claude Magunm and a ridiculous stunt double flashed through his mind. Mai trying to punch him in the stomach brought him back.

"Let go," she protested, still struggling. "You've got no right--!"

"I've got no right?!" he shouted back. "You're not the only one this affects. There're people who care about you, Mai!"

"Like _you_?! Then where have you been the past three years?" she cried, hitting him. "I don't care how you feel, but don't lie to me! You never came back; you can't tell me you still care!" She hit him, but Jounouchi clung, the stronger of the two.

"You left me all alone! Everyone left me! I've got nothing, nothing good enough to keep me here when he tortures me every night, let go, let me stop it, I can't do anything else..." Her voice was breaking, bordering on hysterical. "Please, let me go, let me GO! Stop--"

"But I did come after you!" he protested. "Eventually. I thought you needed time."

"Three years?!" she cried, giving up on hitting him, and trying to pull away. He held her back. "You come after me NOW, and you think--"

"No!" he shouted. "I didn't... I _couldn't_ wait that long! It was maybe a month after we... last saw each other."

She stopped struggling. "What?"

"I looked for you everywhere!" he said. "Every tournament you were in, I went after you, but you were never around. I went all over Japan, I went to America--"

"Liar!" she fought again. "You're just saying that! You always LIED to me--"

The truth of that burned into him, but he kept going. "--hell, I went to China and found Vivian Wong! She says... dammit, what was it..." Jounouchi tried to think of the message that could save them. "Uh... 'I want a rematch after you settle things with him'."

Mai froze. "You saw Vivian?"

"I know I should've kept looking, but I thought you didn't _want_ to be found."

"I _didn't _want to be found," she choked out, biting back more sobs. Her voice threatened to break every few words. "I-I stayed in Varon's house. He was long gone, traveling the world, and he gave me the key before I left. I figured... no one'd find me there. I didn't... think you'd come after me."

"I'm sorry," he said. Neither of them said anything for an age. Mai scoffed quietly.

"Stupid," she muttered at him, voice rising, still on the verge of tears.. "You always blame yourself. Did you ever think that this wasn't about you at all?"

"You wouldn't be trying to punch me if you thought it was," he replied grimly. She answered by trying to pull away from him.

"Not what I think! This doesn't have _anything_ you do with you!" She tried again. "Just let me go!"

"No!" he shouted back, holding on. "Maybe it's not because of me, but it has everything in the world to do with me. I... I care about you, Mai..."

"Not another word!" She cut him off.

"Mai--"

"Stop!" she said sharply. There was a pause, then she spoke again, her voice softer. "No, Jounouchi... I'm scared. You don't know what I've been going through, and when you talk like that... it makes me want to stay here."

"Well... that's good, right?"

"You don't _understand_," she said in a tiny, scared voice. Jounouchi saw her hands clenching his shirt, and realized with a start that she was holding on to _him_. "I can't get it out of my head. I've tried everything. I can't even tell you how many doctors I've seen, how much money I've wasted on therapists and medicine... I tried to get in touch with the Ishtars, but I'm afraid to talk to Malik, and I can't get a hold of Ishizu... Jounouchi, please," she begged. "After Battle City--before Doom--it wasn't all the time. Maybe once a week. Then it got more often. It was every night. So I slept in the day, I was fine... but now I can't sleep without seeing him.

"I don't even wake up from it." Her head was lowered, but Jounouchi could feel the hot tears on his neck. She snifled, trying to hide them. "I just keep sleeping while he tortures me," her voice started to break.

"Mai..." Jounouchi wanted to say something comforting. He wanted nothing more than to take it all away from her, but he had no idea what to do. He couldn't say that she was right to kill herself... but he couldn't say that he wouldn't try it, either, if he was tortured to death every night. "Is... is there anything I can do?"

The question hung in the air while Mai tried to compose herself. Jounouchi hoped.

"Let go," she whispered. Jounouchi squeezed his eyes shut. Oh, god... The image of her lying spread-eagle on the ground slid into his head again. He felt something prickling the corners of his eyes. He realized, horrified, he was probably strengthening her resolve to kill herself by making her talk about it.

"Please," she begged. He'd never heard her so pitiful before.

"No," he stammered. "Don't ask me something like that."

"Jounouchi--"

"Don't..."

"_Please_... I'm begging..."

"I can't!" Jounouchi shouted. He squeezed his eyes shut, but the tears ran anyway. "I can't..." he mumbled, fighting with the image of her lying dead on the ground. He felt something cool on his face and opened his eyes.

"Please. For me." She took his face in her hands. Jounouchi tried to refuse again, but words failed him. She looked right into his eyes, and he felt everything melting away. How long had he waited for this...! And she wanted him to give it back?

"No," he pleaded with her. She let go of him and buried her face in his chest. "There's got to be some other way. Got to be... something..." he couldn't think straight. She was sobbing into his shirt, shaking her head.

"No!" she cried. "It won't end! I've tried everything! Don't make me go back, Jou, please don't make me go through it anymore... you always protected me, Jounouchi, make it stop!"

"I can't just..." Jounouchi started to protest lamely. He sat up, still holding onto her. She didn't seem to care. iMake it stop./i A crazy idea popped into his head. A crazy, conceited, probably impossible thought. It would hurt her if it didn't work. But it might buy him time. Oh, he was being a selfish, arrogant, inconsiderate jerk right now.

He didn't care.

"Mai," he started. "W-what if I can help?"

She looked up at him. "What?"

"I don't know if it'd work... but I could try," he added hastily, his plan forming. "You said you were afraid of being alone, right? Well, what if you weren't alone? I could stay with you, and... I dunno, I'd be there if you woke up, and I could... I could..." She looked up at him. "I could do something!" he finally said, throwing his hands up. "I'll do anything, Mai. I'll stay with you, and I won't ever leave. When you're afraid, I'll be there. I'll make it work. I'll be damned if I'm gonna let Malik beat either of us ever again. Mai, please. I..." he swallowed the rest of the sentence, knowing she didn't want to hear it.

"You'd do that?" she asked, unsure. "You'd come when I call, or stay with me through the night, deal with me when I'm a mess... when I'm like this..."

"_Anything_." Did he dare hope that this was working? "Say the word, and I'll do it, I'm there."

"Jounouchi..." she sighed. "I've been through so much. Don't promise and leave me--"

"Who do you think I am?" Jounouchi cut in. "Mai! I stood up to Ra! I dueled Malik, and nearly died. When you were with Doom...!" She lowered her head. "I... do I really need to say all this?"

"No," she whispered, head down. Jounouchi felt a pang of guilt for bringing up Doom.

She hesistated, finally said in a tiny voice, "What if I dream again? I can't take it anymore, Jou, not even once more."

He couldn't pretend that he could help with that one. It was all up to her. "Yes, you can, Mai," he comforted. "You're strong."

"No," she pleaded, shaking her head and looking down, away from his eyes. "I'm not, don't tell me I am, Jounouchi."

"You're strong enough to still be here with me, aren't you?" He gently tilted her chin up, so she could look at him.

"No..." she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "That's just 'cause you're stopping me."

"I haven't been for a while now, Mai." He kept up his calm, confident bravado, praying that she wouldn't take the chance to jump. She whirled around to see his hands no longer wrapped around her waist. She looked back up to him, tearful and confused.

"Why...?"

"You..." Jounouchi fought to keep his voice level. "Y-you told me to... and if it's hurting you that much... if you don't want to keep trying..."

She looked from him to the edge of the roof. Jounouchi resisted the urge to grab her hand and pull her back to him.

"But I can help," he offered, seeing her indesicion and jumping at his chance. "I'll help you, Mai. You're strong enough to get through this."

Her gaze left the ledge and stayed on him this time. "And if I'm not?"

"You are." Jounouchi tried to sound confident, but he was begging her, and they both knew it.

"It's going to hurt," she said flat out, either being honest, trying to scare him off, or both.

"The Orichalcos hurt," Jounouchi said without thinking, instantly regretting it. "Er, no, I didn't--"

But it worked. Mai grabbed onto his wrist.

"I'm sorry."

"For that?" he tried to say it lightly, but it didn't come out right.

"For that." She kept her head down, speaking quietly.

"I never blamed you," Jounouchi shook his head. "I didn't mean that."

"I know. I'm still sorry."

"What was that about taking blame?" he laughed.

"...stupid," she said with half a smile.

* * *

A/N: Liked the fic? Review! There may be a sequel in the near future...


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